The medicine that is always with you. When you recall a good moment from your past, it instantly changes your state in the present. Research has shown that this boosts activity in the striatum (dopamine system), protecting you from stress and increasing your happiness. Good memories are a natural defense against depression. The more such memories you have, the better your mental health and well-being.
Parents who create more good memories for their children and discuss them strengthen their children’s mental resilience for at least 20 years. The more good memories you have, the less likely you are to be self-critical and the lower your risk of depression. Interestingly, this even works in mice. Researchers created happy memories for mice, then activated specific memory neurons in a depression model, and the mice recovered!
Why is this so beneficial?
Please create your own collection of memories and turn to them for support and inspiration. Try to look at your life and choices through the lens of the question, "What will I remember about this in 10 years?" and start actively constructing happy memories for yourself and your children.
Here’s how you can do it (along with the book "The Art of Happy Memories"):
1. Emotions. Uniqueness, novelty, and originality help you remember better. You can create novelty through the place, clothing, or an unusual occasion—the key is the novelty itself.
2. Attention. Immerse yourself in the event and be mindful. If you’re distracted or staring at your phone, the memory will be dull and fleeting.
3. End on a high note. Highlight the end of the event; this makes it more memorable.
4. Add struggle. If you’re traveling, climbing, or putting in effort, include that journey in the memory—the goal will become more desirable and memorable.
5. Discuss the event afterward. Create a story. Talk about the event in the evening, the next day, and at the end of the week. By creating a narrative, it becomes easier to remember.
6. Take a souvenir. This can be anything—a dried flower in a book, a stone from the beach, a shard from ruins, or a souvenir. If it stays visible at home, it strengthens the memory. A fridge magnet can work even longer.
7. Take photos and notes. The key is to review them, and immediately select the best ones for an album or print them out. Record the event and your emotions in a journal.
8. Use your senses. Always seek out a specific smell of the place. Pay attention to physical sensations—what can you touch? What sounds are around? Who are the people? Add proprioception—jump or run a bit.
9. Add meaning. Find something in this memory that is personally connected to you, your innermost thoughts, and your aspirations.
10. Anything can become a happy memory. It doesn’t have to be extraordinary. Sometimes, it’s just a moment when you feel particularly alive: the taste of tea from an aluminum cup, the starry sky in the forest, or a supportive look.
Try my app, Rewellme, which has a feature to create and recall memories (iOS, Android, Web).
Growing Memories: Benefits of an early childhood maternal reminiscing intervention for emerging adults’ turning point narratives and well-being Journal of Research in Personality Volume 99, August 2022, 104262
Positive memory specificity is associated with reduced vulnerability to depression Nature Human Behaviour volume 3, pages265–273 (2019)
Reminiscing about positive memories buffers acute stress responses Nature Human Behaviour volume 1, Article number: 0093 (2017)
Retrospective Memories of Parental Care and Health From Mid- to Late Life 2019, Vol. 38, No. 1, 84 –93
Savoring the Past: Positive Memories Evoke Value Representations in the Striatum Volume 84, Issue 4, 19 November 2014, Pages 847-856
Activating happy memories cheers moody mice Helen Shen Nature 2015
